The Pain of Remorse
by KenniScarlett
Summary: Not every story has a happy ending. I don't own InuYasha. This is my first time writing a story, so I hope it isn't too bad.
1. Chapter 1: Pain

Pain. I remember intense pain. And heat. Lots of burning heat, much like a fire, but only in my chest. The rest of my body felt cold. Numb even. I could hear frantic voices yelling a name out. I couldn't recognize whose voices were yelling or even understand what name they were yelling. I could hardly hear anything with how loud the ringing in my ears was. Slowly everything was turning to a deafening silence. I couldn't really see anything. Everything was dim. Through all of the shadows and numbness I felt a drop of warmth on my right cheek. Then another. I could hear a voice calling me through that awful silence. I'm not sure who it was.

"Kagome! Wake up, Kagome!" The voice kept repeating this line over and over as if I could simply follow that command. I vaguely remember seeing silver hair, but that's about it. Then, everything went black and silent once more and I couldn't feel a thing.

I sat there cradling the young priestess for a while longer. I could no longer hear the girl's heart beat and her shallow, pained breathing had ceased. Everyone was crying, screaming for the girl to come back. She was gone. Naraku had succeeded in killing her. I had a dull ache in my chest. I had been unable to protect her. I felt ashamed. I, a great demon lord, was unable to protect this human woman. I had promised her.

"Kagome! Wake up, Kagome!" I whispered into her ear. I felt a couple of tears slip down my cheeks. I was shocked. I had never cried before. I was quickly pulled out of my shock by the faint beating of her heart, but as quickly as I heard it, it was gone once again. Kagome's dead.


	2. Chapter 2: The First Memory

Anger. Regret. The dull ache in my chest was becoming more intense and along with it I felt these strange emotions welling up inside of me. I was angry because that filthy Naraku had caused me to break my promise. I felt regret because of the many things I could have and should have done for this fragile human in my arms who was now dead. If Tenseiga had not been mysteriously broken in the battle with Naraku I would have attempted to bring her back.

I remember when I first met her in my father's tomb. She had been with my half-brother Inuyasha when I was attempting to retrieve the Tessaiga. She had happened to pull the sword when neither that half-breed nor I could claim it. My interest had been piqued. Why could a simple human grab the sword?

After the battle that had resulted in the loss of my arm, I began 'checking up' on the group that had, over time, grown to include a small fox demon, a monk, a demon slayer, and the demon slayer's demon fire cat. The human girl, Kagome, had kept my interest, though. When I would allow them to know I was near my idiot brother would begin attacking and alongside him the girl would stand up to me as well.

After traveling with her little group for a few years, something had happened to cause her to separate from them. My ward, Rin, had found her sleeping in a meadow near one of camps. When Rin asked her about it the next day when the priestess awoke, she would avoid the question. When she finally stopped avoiding it she stated that she had her reasons, and so, no further questions were asked. I was pulled from my memories by the presence of the dead priestess, Kikyo.

"She can't possibly be dead. If she was, wouldn't the rest of our soul have come to me?" her voice cracked uncharacteristically and sounded as if she were in denial. Although, she did have a valid point. Why hadn't the girl's soul gone back to the dead priestess?


	3. Chapter 3: Strange

It had been weeks since Kagome's death and Sesshomaru had l let no one see her. He and Kagome's body were stowed away inside Kaede's hut for three weeks now. No one went in, no one came out. The group was at a loss for what to do. They gave up trying to coax Sesshomaru out and trying to get in.

"She's still here! I can feel it!" Shippo's insistent ramblings went unnoticed by the small group. He had been in a despondent stupor since the incident, once in a while stating some heartbroken hope. Inuyasha had grown tired of it all, and ran off to Goshinboku. Some days they wouldn't see him but randomly he would show up in the village banging on the makeshift door of Kaede's hut, yelling obscenities at Sesshomaru. Sango and Miroku had become closer, clinging to each other like lifelines. They didn't say much to anyone, but would take care of Shippo. It's what Kagome would have wanted.

The group hadn't seen Kikyo since Kagome's demise, but thought nothing of it. Until,exactly three weeks after Kagome died, Kikyo appeared as Shippo was muttering about Kagome being alive.

"It's true." The group peered at Kikyo as if she had another head sprouting from her shoulder. "If she truly was deceased her soul would have come to me, but it remains inside if her."

Kiyko strode over to Kaede's hut and sent a small wave of energy to prod the demon lord inside for entrance. To everyone's despondent shock, Kikyo entered. Once inside, the dead priestess noticed something very odd about Kagome's body. It hadn't decayed in the least in the three weeks of death. There was no stench of a dead body nor of any herbs to preserve her.

"Have you done anything to her body?" Kikyo looked to the demon who was masked with the coldness she remembered. He gave his head a slight shake in the negative response. His cold, golden eyes held a curiosity in them that Kikyo herself shared.

Kikyo prodded Kagome's seemingly lifeless body with her energy in hopes of getting a response, but there was nothing. Giving up, she turned on her heel to exit the hut, giving a slight nod to Sesshomaru as she passed by, confusion evident on her tired features.

* * *

Hey, sorry about the long time of no posts. I jusr completed my first year of college, and I have to say that I have been very stressed. I lost both of my scholarships and have nowhere to live for my next year of college. Besides being stressed because of school, I just haven't had much to inspire my writing, but I'm back and will try to keep posting. Hopefully this inspiration will stay with me long enough to stay with this stoty and eventually complete it. Hopefully...


	4. Chapter 4: Empty Memories

Everything was dark yet bright at the same time. At first, she was in so much pain. She felt as if her insides re scorching her and being ripped out in the most painful way. As time went on the pain ebbed and now she couldn't feel anything. She was calm, but, sometimes, she would feel panic. She was forgetting something, but couldn't quite grasp what. She look around, but saw nothing, as usual. It was as if she were in some other dimension or plane. All she saw was the bright darkness surrounding her.

There were no trees. No animals. Nothing. For some reason, it didn't bother her. She didn't car, but then, every so often, she would hear a voice.

It was soft, smooth, and something else. Masculine? Soothing? It was a soft, deep timbre that seemed almost commanding her to listen and obey. It was pleading. She couldn't understand or comprehend what it was saying but she was aware that it was calling to her and commanding her to do something.

"I wonder how long I've been here. Wherever 'here' is." Her soft voice carried in the emptiness surrounding her.

"Woman, open your eyes. It has been three weeks. You must wake up." That oh so familiar voice responded as if he had heard her. Although she had heard the low rumble of that voice telling her what to do, she could not comprehend what it was saying. It was if they spoke two very different languages.

Suddenly, the world around her changed. It went from that strange expanse of nothingness to a field of flowers. The sun was shining. There were trees surrounding the new little glen and there was a small creek running through the right side of the meadow. The flowers were bright and blooming.

On the far side of the valley, she could see a figure sitting in the middle of a large patch wildflowers, weaving a crown from the blossoms. The young woman began walked toward that lone figure. As she approached, the seated girl looked up and smiled. Her magenta eyes were filled with hope and a certain playful glint. The two sat in silence for a short moment until finally the child spoke.

"Why are you here? What's your name?" The blue eyed woman jumped slightly at the soft bell-like voice of the child next to her. She looked at the little girl curiously before responding.

"I-I'm not really sure...I-I can't remember...I think it's...No, that doesn't seem right...Hmm..." After a long moment of contemplation the young woman responded confidently and rather excitedly, "Kagome! My name is Kagome!"

A worried expression soon softened into a look of relief.


	5. Chapter 5: New Information

Kagome and the young mystery girl sat in the meadow sat is silence for what felt like hours. Finally, Kagome decided to speak, not able to stand the lack of voices any longer.

"So, what's your name?" She started slowly. The golden-haired child looked at her and smiled.

"My name?" She repeated. After a moment she said, "I don't have a name."

The girl's smile was held firmly in place. Kagome stared, dumbfounded.

"Would you like a name?" _'OK, that sounded like a stupid question.' _Kagome thought to herself. The girl looked at her with a slight hint of awe mixed with excitement and curiosity.

"Sure! Who wouldn't want a name?!" She replied excitedly. Kagome thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers with a triumphant expression plastered to her face.

"I got it! Would you like to be named Sakura?" The girl lunged at Kagome to give her a hug.

"I love it! I've never had a name before!" Sakura announced animatedly.

"I have another question, Sakura. How old are you?" Kagome questioned.

"I guess in human years I'd be about ten years old, maybe." Sakura replied thoughtfully.

"In human years? What does that mean?"

"Well, I'm not a human. I'm a demon. What else could it mean." Kagome stared at her wide-eyed.

"So, since you're a demon, what kind of demon are you?" Kagome said after a few moments of silence, allowing this information to be processed.

"I'm a Phoenix demon." Sakura replied with a playful glint in her eye. Kagome sat silent stunned. _'This girl is a Phoenix demon? How did she get here?' _

"OK, OK. How are you here? What is this place anyway?" Kagome finally remembered to ask.

"This is a plane between life and death, Kagome. I'm here because I'm supposed to guide you. Once you wake up, I will follow you into your body to help guide you through the rest of your journey." After a moment of no response from Kagome the girl continued. "You're here because you aren't supposed to die. Since you did technically die, you were sent here to meet me and await the time for you to wake up."

"I'm dead?" Kagome seemed puzzled and oddly calm about the fact that she was technically dead.

"You could say that. Of course, once you open your eyes on the outside world, everything will be different and more difficult. You'll have to learn new things to help you survive. You will be different as well as your friends. That's all I can tell you before I get in trouble." The girl giggled a bit, but quieted when she sensed Kagome's distress.


	6. Chapter 6: Stunned plus Authors Note

Author's note: I'm considering rewriting this story, already, before I get too far into it. My reasons include my dislike for how it's written and I just feel that it sounds rushed with the wording. Not that story itself is rushed, but rather that the wording is not to my liking and that some things should be explain in a different, more effective manner. Also, I'm trying to figure out some sort of schedule for my postings, since I have started another Sess/Kag story.

Kagome was shocked. She would have a demon guiding her? Guiding her to do what?

Kagome opened her mouth to say something, anything, but her words failed to form properly and the resulting sound was something like a strangled gurgle. After a moment of silence, Sakura giggled at Kagome's temporary inability to use proper language.

"Here. Why don't you just make a few flower chains while you get your thoughts straight? Hmm?" Sakura handed Kagome some brightly colored flowers and continued making a necklace of the flowers, while Kagome stared at her own. Kagome struggled to process what happened.


End file.
